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thanx for shopping at wallmart

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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,

"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine

sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about

it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than

a >doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the

urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy

activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @


That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe

began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap

water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from His wife and

daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits

Ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get

better! Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart


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I'm afraid to use that computer.

Understand this lad, fate is a fickle lady. Work with the hand you're dealt and you may just be able to run your flag up the pole. Don't, and well, you may just find your mast cut down.

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