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PsymonSays

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Posts posted by PsymonSays

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Today's Sermon was --- Forgive Your Enemies.

    Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of

    you have Forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.

    The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this

    time, except one small elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing

    to Forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." She replied, smiling

    sweetly.

    "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

    "Ninety-eight." she replied.

    "Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front & tell us

    all how a Person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the

    world?"

    The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced

    the Congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."

    I want that old lady as my grandma!!!!!!

    AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  8. Posted · Report reply

    An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his

    tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His

    only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man

    wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

    Dear Vincent,

    I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant

    my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a

    garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know

    you would be happy to dig the plot for me.

    Love, Dad

    A few days later he received a letter from his son:

    Dear Dad,

    Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.

    Love, Vinnie

    At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug

    up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the

    old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from

    his son:

    Dear Dad,

    Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under

    the circumstances.

    Love you, Vinnie

    Gundam-Ranger-X reacted to this

  13. Posted · Report reply

    I like funny

    and sifi

    and action

    and fantasy

    I watched samari deeper and some of the real popular ones that i use to see on adult swim on cartoon network

    I've watched more but right now my brain ist working cause I'm thinking of my boyfriend cause ever since he and I stared dating and stuff he's been a really butt head.

    hahaha

  19. Posted · Report reply

    I'm an artist and I love love love music!!!!!!!

    every one says I'm funny

    I don't get to watch anime or tv in general because my little sister is always hogging it. playing video game or watching hanna montana

    hahahahahaha!!!!

    so I mostly listen to music

    ummm....=/ ok then

  20. Posted · Report reply

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,

    "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine

    sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about

    it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than

    a >doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the

    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy

    activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @

    Wal-Mart."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe

    began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap

    water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from His wife and

    daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits

    Ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get

    better! Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

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