Hell_Cat_18 1,359 Report post Posted March 2, 2006 ~*Rain*~ Rain, rain go away There won't be another day Broken dreams are washed away Never to return another day Rain drops fall red as blood Desapear into the mud Promises made in broken blood Are lost forever in the freezing mud Screams and thunder shake the ground Though niether make a sound Fist and anger pound the ground Strange that niether make a sound Pain and sorrow fall like rain They fall on the fight to stay sane Drops of red fall like rain I'm losing the fight to stay sane Rocking silent with the wind No comfort will it lend Deaf and blind I cry into the wind No pity will it lend Freezing, shivering all alone Slowly drowning like a sunken stone Cold, dying and all alone My heart stops like a frozen stone Rain, rain go away There won't be another day Broken dreams are washed away Never to return another day [sIGPIC]What's wrong, cat eat your tounge?[/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shinra Soldier88 119 Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Wow, HC... thats about all that comes to mind after reading "Rain"... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hell_Cat_18 1,359 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Thanx... [sIGPIC]What's wrong, cat eat your tounge?[/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Honeybee 29 Report post Posted March 4, 2006 ...well we both have very different views on the rain i think its almost comforting you think of it as depressing comments dont look if you dont want: the poem was good but the last line didn't feel like the right amount of sylables when i was reading it i like your technic did you learn it yourself? the day away day away thing or did you get it from some where because when i was reading it it seemed odd at first but then it fit more into it did you intend for this to be more along the lines of slam poetry? it has a solid point but i couldnt see the imagry to much, it seemed that the whole thing fit very well with each other so well. But i think if you re-fitted the last line to make it not fit so well it would stand more inconstant http://img515.imageshack.us/my.php?image=siggy30hi.png Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hell_Cat_18 1,359 Report post Posted March 4, 2006 Thank you very much for your comments Honey Bee...I really do appreciate it. I too was a little off set and dissapointed with the last line, and as for the rhyme sceame, yeah I learned how to do it on my own...Nickleback was actually my insperation for this poem. [sIGPIC]What's wrong, cat eat your tounge?[/sIGPIC] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
