falling-angel-111

X'D Mathias that sounds like a great idea, and I'll give it a shot. But I mean, with four other siblings, it's most likely to go unnoticed. I often clean the house without it being my chore and without being told, just because it's so messy, but when you have everybody else two steps behind you screwing it up again, it's likely to go unnoticed. >_> One day I was on the phone with my friend, just talking about shit and he told me to go into the living room and tell my parents that I love them. LOL It's kinda rare that I just come out and say that, well after much arguement he got me to do it. I went out there and was like "mom.. dad... Love you" 30 seconds later my mom looks at me and asked what I said. X'D apparently she wasn't listening! So when I was just like nevermind, she thought I called her something bad and made me get off the phone. >_> That's kinda what I mean by unnoticed.

I like the photo album idea, it'd be great to make an album and just sit down and talk about all the fun we've had. Only problem with that is that when I was younger we had a house fire and everything was destroyed, so we don't have any family pictures. And we haven't ever really owned a real camera since then, I guess because we don't have many family outings. *shrug* so that's screwed.

I can't really think of much that she really wants. I mean maybe a stargate season, but that's like 50$ if not more, and I surely don't have that. Or maybe a big poster of her favorite actor that she thinks is, "totally hot" *barfs* but that might annoy my dad a bit. not such a great idea for their anniversery, right?

Nah! just kidding. But I do need your help!

Well, lately I've been putting a lot of stress on my mom, and she's been helping me out a lot lately. I wanted to do something for her to say thankyou, but I have no idea what to do. my parent's aniversery is at the end of this month, so I guess I should do something by then. I have no idea what to do though, I was thinking I could make this really beautiful cake for her, but that's not really a thank you, ya know? And keep in mind that I have very little money to work with here. I don't want to do something that's corny or anything, and I don't want it to be all weird and emotional and shit, I just want her to know that I appreciate what she does. Plus she might be going to work pretty soon, so if she works the days she thinks she will, then I'll be home with the rest of my siblings for two days of the week without and adult. lol I can only imagine what she thinks I'm gonna do. So I really want this to be about her and my dad.

So yeah, do you have any ideas? Like something I can get her, do for her, or anything? I'm not good at this kinda stuff, so any help would be great.

omg! Mommy!!! *runs and gives hugs while chewing on candies* I wasn't sure you were coming back. But here you are, yay! We should have a party!

the weather here is great, we're gettin 70s and 80sf. we've been at the pool almost every day this week. I'm definately not missing the cold at all.

Geez, it's so freaky to think about it really, cause something as simple as seeing things fuzzy and such, can mean a big problem. But I mean can you really go to your doctor every time you think there's something wrong?

Btw lady, is that the kinda thing that happens when you stand up? Like you've been sitting for a while, and when you stand things start to go black or fuzzy typa thing? What causes that anyways?

Okay, I kinda take back what I said. I have seven year old brother, and he knows I'd be pissed if he did that. He knows a lot better than to color or rip up books. I mean my 5 year old little sister colors on books sometimes, but even she knows better than to rip them up. I would understand if she was 3 or 4 or something, but 7 is just waay too old to be getting away with stuff like that. And maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take that up with her mom, just tell her you don't want her screwing with your stuff. And next time if it's something bigger, like an xbox game or something, then somebody's gonna replace it and it ain't gonna be you. She needs to give her daughter a little tough loving.

Well, I know how you feel, but how old is this little girl anyway? I don't have a lot of personal items thanks to my little brothers and sisters. I know how it feels to have your things destroyed. And a lot of the time I go crazy about it, but really if you think about it, they don't mean it. I can imagine how a little kid could use a manga as a coloring book. lol I knwo it must suck to have to take all the stuff outta your room, but next time try to be nicer. If you handle it calmly maybe your dad or his girlfriend will replace what was broken. And like with my little sister, I tell her she ruined my items and hurt my feelings ect, and she's a lot less likely to do it again rather than when I just yell at her. Cause really what does she care if I'm yelling, that's nothing new around here.

Damn, sounds horrible for you guys. We've got pretty warm weather out here, like around 75 it's pretty nice. Ya'll probably hate me now. lol

Well, like I said, Goku I'm glad when guys say what they really mean. I'm not like asuming that any guy that flirts with me wants to go out. I'm pretty much asuming that he either wants to fuck, or he's just having fun. I'm probably not making much sense in my posts seeing as I'm talking about a lot of different guys at once without and names. lol There's been a couple guys that actually wanted to date me, don't know why though. But as far as I could tell, it wasn't based off sex from the begining.

So anyways, when it comes to the guys, no we don't hug. There's only like two guys that I've ever hugged, and it was because we had dated or something. But on the other hand, we do rough house a lot, or basically you could say they punch, head lock, kick, ect me. Which is, uh painful. Just a little note to all the guys out there, you're a lot stronger than you think. >_> I might give Nick a hug before he leaves though, I'm gonna miss him.

Well, not all the guys I hang around are older, only two of them are 18 or older, the others are around my age. and actually they really don't seem to care that they're older, I guess they just trust me to keep my mouth shut.

X'D Goku I am so buying that last shirt on your list. ROFL The thing is, sex is like the last thing on my mind when I'm hanging out with the guys, (I mean yeah they're cute and all, but it's really not like that's the first thing that comes to mind.) they're always the ones that bring it up, I mean 90% of the time I'd so much rather just be friends with them than complicating things by dating. From my experience it's very hard to have a boyfriend and have guy friends. Which makes sense, I would be nervous too if I had a boyfriend who only hung out with girls.

I know what you mean MD, I mean I'm really relaxed around guys. Most of the time when I'm nervous, it's because there are girls around. *hides under a rock* (Inless they're tomboys or just really down to earth.) I mean the only time I'm nervous around guys, is when they bring this kinda stuff up, I just don't know what to think, ya know?

I was thinking that maybe I come off like a slut to them, but I dunno. I mean, it's not like I dress up to go hang out or wear something really small. And I damn well know I wasn't flirting with them first. I guess they just think I'm easy. *shrug* Which kinda sucks. >_>

GC + Wolflord - Okay well I agree with both of you basically. I mean it kinda depends on whjat it's about, and how you go about it.

X'D Goku I see what you mean now, but it kinda seems like I feel bad after words. If he offers and I say no, I feel bad afterwords, like I wasn't being a good friend or something. And I know friends shouldn't just do whatever the other person says, it's just I feel bad. And well I say this from experience, you know the two guy friends I had that were like being normal and all? Well you can take that down to one. I just have one question: ARE THESE GUYS CRAZY? I mean me and him were just walking around talking and all and once it started getting cold we went to his place. (He's 18 so he lives alone.) I mean when we were talking I kinda felt like it was weird, like some of the questions were out fo place and all, and I just had that weird vibe like he was tense or something. (you know what I'm talking about?) Well anyways to shorten a story, we got to that subject and we didn't end up doing anything and I felt horrible afterwards. Like I let him down or something. I dunno he wasn't forcing it or anything he was being really nice and cool, but I dunno, still feel bad.

I dunno, I might just do what I was saying, just go around and say it randomly to all my friends. "Wanna candy bar?" "not if you think that'll get you in my pants" X'D

So now I only know two people who are being normal. One is my girlfriend, and the other is her boyfriend.

Oh, I just thought of another thing. I'm like so happy with him though, because atleast he was honest about just wanting to be fucked. He's seen me in a relationship were all the guy was after was sex and I was just being a little dumb ass girl about it. I dunno I feel like I should appologise but he's leaving first thing in the morning, but he'll be back on wendsday. I dunno, I wanna spend time with him right now though, I feel weird.

I love your idea about hanging out with my girlfriend. The only problem with that is that she lives a state away. Basically we grew up together and we still keep in touch and sometimes get to see eachother over summer, but it doesn't look like I will this time.

I guess he is showing he cares. That's kinda nice, but Wolflord, I don't think he'll be losing this time. But I can't give anything up very easily so it might take time.

I like your idea Goku, it's just I dunno I'd feel weird. Especially if that's not even what they were looking for in the first place, geez that would be weird... "you wanna hang out on sunday?" "Yeah but you're never getting in my pants!!!" *silence*

See?

*sigh* I know I shouldn't post this but I feel like ranting.

I'm so tired of guys, they seem so simple, (I love that part, never even get bored of it) but they just have to go and complicate things. >_> Honestly I don't know why guys have to beat around the bush, I mean it's not like coming out and actually saying it would hurt they're self esteem. And even if it did, they have so much of it, it's not like there'd be much damage.

Basically I'm so tired of being lied to by guys, and the ones that aren't lying to me (as far as I can tell) are just flirts or looking to get laid. I mean there are a lot of nice guys around here, but none of those are interested in me. And I hate the fact that I'm even thinking of dating these guys, but I dunno, it seems hard not to date them, ya know? Like when I'm around guy friends that I havn't had problem with (break ups, fights, had to keep secrets with) it's fun and cool. But then things always end up fucked because of something so stupid. I can deal with a helluva lot with friends, but they just drop our frinedship so easily. It pisses me off, I mean am I really such a horrible person that they don't give a shit about me? And one of my so called friends is telling me that he won't even talk to me anymore if I don't quit smoking. Okay I undertsand that he says that for my health, but the fact that he knows I will choose him is so not fair.

And another one of my "friends" (ex as well) just ignores me all week untill sunday and monday. (his days off work) I mean I get it if he's busy and has work on the other days and all. But a simple "hi" passing by wouldn't hurt, I feel so invisible around him till we're drunk. (Am I really that boring when sober? )

Then to top it all off there's this other guy who lives close to me. Sometimes we run into each other and rang out for a bit. Simple and fun, right? No, of course he has to start hanging on me (uhhh flirting I guess you could say, I dunno what you would call that typa thing. lol) and talks about personal stuff. I felt okay about it then, because he's nice and all but why is it that that's all guys do is flirt? I don't mean to sound like a bitch, I'm all for the good times and the bad with friends, but why do guys flirt with girls just for the fun of it? IS IT REALLY THAT FUN? And if they just want ot get laid, please just come out and say it, I don't want to go through that drama again. I mean a good tip off of a guy not really liking me is that I'm fucking hella ugly, which I thought would work to my advantage for once. I mean all the guys I know are hella cute and know it too, so I thought that'd make it easier for me to be friends with them. But I guess guys don't care as long as they think they're gonna get some ass. lol That's so weird.

*sigh* I just hate having to pick the fakes out of the real ones, because it seems like I'm always wrong. And now there is like only two guys that I'm not having problems with. The ones that aren't listed are either mad at me or I dunno just being asses. I so need more girlfriends... *only has one*

haha I love your sense of humor already. I totally agree on the children one though, they're tough business.

Welcome!

wow that was like the best I'd read in a while. it never got boring and nothing sounded out of place it was just perfect. awesome work.

Good luck with those classes and the job too. Sounds like a lot of work.

*is so excited for you" I'm glad she said yes, that's awesome! I love the ice skating idea, that sounds so perfect. And even if she doesn't know how to ice skate, teach her. I really can't think of anything else that would be good this time of year. Great idea, I'm sure she'll love it.

I'd be pretty pissed if that happened it me. Hopefully that'll fix it though. *crosses fingers*

X'D that clip made me laugh for like 5 minutes. LOL

Yeah I know what you mean, but that's why I stay here at ac.

Thanks Sledge I checked that all out when I was 13 I thought it sounded pretty good, but really there isn't anybody hiring around here. My mom and brother are looking for jobs at resturants and such and if they're not gonna get a job, I don't have much luck in that department.

I'm gonna look around for more babysitting jobs, but I've never really babysat for anybody except my mom, but I'm not bad, I just have to prove that to other people. And it's very rare that I lose my temper with other peoples kids. Just my siblings.

As for mowing lawns, I'd be happy to that, but I live in an RV park in the city, so we don't have lawns and neither does anybody else. I have no idea how I would get a paper route, and I don't even know if they have that kinda stuff anymore.

I know I won't be able to get any money from my parents, I might be able to get a few dollars out of them every once in a while, but if they give me an allowence, they have to do the same for the rest of my siblings, so in the end it'll cost them more than if they hired a maid. >_> Plus I live in an RV, so there's only so much you can clean untill you run out of stuff that's dirty.

I'll keep my eye out for jobs at stores and stuff, but I might try to work for some of the older people around here. I won't have much to do because it's an RV park, but I might be able to help with their pets, a little cleaning or whatever. *Shrug* At this point it looks like I'm really gonna have to wait till 15.

I would love to sell stuff on ebay, but like I said, I don't ask my parents for much. I don't think I have a whole lot that's worth much. >_>

But I talked to one of my friends and he said he might just buy what I wanted for me, but I dunno if he was serious of not. I hope he was though. When I talked to my other friend, well he said he'd pay me 30$ for a bj. >_> Guys are such jerks all the time.

Well, thanks guys, I'll try your advice on everything, might as well give Goku's idea a try too.

Well, I've come close to getting a few babysitting jobs this year, but then people decide they don't like me all that much anymore. >_> I've talked to my mom about doing chores for money and all that, but of course not, that'd be too easy. I mean, my parents usually pay for the stuff I need, and I'm not into games that much so it's not like I ask for really expensive stuff like an x box 360 or something. (I can think of a lot of better things to do with 600$.) But I could really use a little money for certain things that my parents won't buy me, and then if I decide I want to go visit friends in tucson, I don't have to beg them for the money.

The problem is that I'm only 14, so basically I can sell lemonaid and icecream. >_> Not that many people around here have small kids because most of them are like really old, and if they have kids, they already have a babysitter.

I talked to one of my friends about this and in some states if you have all the right paperwork and shit, you can get a job at like 14 and up, but who the hell wants to hire an unexpirenced 14 year old? Plus I would have all these rules, like how many hours I can work and what I'm allowed to do and all that stuff. Even my older brother and mom are having trouble finding work.

So anyways, what did you do when you were younger for money? I mean there's got to be more than paper routes and babysitting right? At this point I'm like super desperate for like 40$, I'd be soooo happy if I had that. I mean I'm not even picky about how much I'm making, money is money at this point. So please, if you have any ideas at all, please share with me!

Well, you can scratch that last post. I don't have the flu or anything but I'm super stressed, so I'm getting headaches and I'm having trouble keeping my food down. And last time I threw up, there was blood as well, so that's probably not a good thing. I think I hurt my esophagus(sp?) or something. >_>

"Things aren't gonna change, we'll always be the same and we'll die that way, so what's the point? If we're all gonna die, what's the point in changing?" That's a quote from my ex, therefore I know everything written right there is completely wrong.

Maybe we won't change so easily, but we will, even is we don't notice it. And what's the point in changing? Well, if we've got to be here we might as well make the best out of it, right? No point in making the worst of everything to depress ourselves.

Usually when I feel like you are, (which is a helluva lot lately) it’s because I’m kinda in limbo. I’m far from happy, but I’m not hurting to the point that I can’t take it either.

My friend told me that it helps to have a goal, something that you really want. For me it was that I got something that made me really happy, and then lost it. Before I had got it, I was okay, kinda like you don’t know what you’re missing until you’ve tried it. Well, now that I’ve lost a lot of things this year, I can’t seem to be happy. So I need to find something that I want, or try to be happy alone again, but I’m far from that. Maybe it’s the same for you?

I really like that quote D Marx, it makes a lot of sense.

Like I said before, I really like it. I kinda feel like it's missing something though, like a part were the boy beats up his best friend? j/k

It sounds like great fun! Ah, I'm so getting jealous, I wanna go too! Are you by any chance planning on brining a really big suitcase with you?

BTW you better take a lot of pics for us.