Well I have figured it out... scoring the internet, I came across a little recipe, it didn't look right, and I felt it was too simple to be it. I had tried everything else, so I was down to my last options on experimentation... but the end result was the holy grail. This my friends, is how you make 100% authentic restaurant queso dip.
Its 3 simple ingredients (with an optional 4th), No matter how much of it you make, you must always use exact the same amount of all 3. So the easiest way to do this is to make a 24oz bowl, because two of the 3 ingredients are commonly sold in 8oz containers.
Ingredient 1: Velveeta Queso Blanco
Ingredient 2: 8oz Sour Cream
Ingredient 3: 8oz of Cream Cheese
Step 1 - Take your block of Velveeta, and cut it at the 8oz line marked on its foil wrapper, then drop it in the bowl along with the entire contents of your sour cream and cream cheese tubs.
Step 2 - Put bowl in the microwave and heat on high for 2 minutes, take out and stir, then place back in microwave and heat for 2 more minutes.
Step 3 - Stir mixture until it looks like its all the same consistency, microwave 30-40 more seconds if there are still chunks or solids and repeat the process.
Now you have yourself some Mexican cheese dip... don't believe me? Try it out and see for yourself...
Too boring? Add a can of rotel tomatoes for some kick.
Some recipes tell you to add chicken broth, flour, or pepper jack cheese... that's all crap... It may be good, but if you're looking to make exactly what you get at the restaurant, follow my directions and spread the joy.
This recipe can also be used with some shell pasta, add some ground beef, or even taco seasoned ground beef, and you have yourself one hell of a meal.