Gundam-Ranger-X

125 things GRX is not allowed to do in RPGs

20 posts in this topic

1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.

2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.

3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.

4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne.

5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.

6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.

8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.

9. My monk's lips must be in sync.

10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.

11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.

12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.

13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.

14. Ogres are not kosher.

15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.

16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.

17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.

18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.

19. Drow are not good eating.

20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.

21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.

22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.

23. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.

24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.

25. The green elf does not need food badly.

26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.

27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.

28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.

29. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back.

30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.

31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.

32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.

33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'

34. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.

35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.

36. I am not allowed to convice the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.

37. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.

38. I am not allowed to just torch the mansion instead of exploring it in Call of Cthuhlu

39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'

40. Gnomes do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes.

41. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'

42. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.

43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.

44. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills.

45. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres.

46. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so.

47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.

48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.

49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.

50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orc caves instead of exploring it first.

51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.

52. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.

53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.

54. Cannot pimp out other party members.

55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.

56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.

57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.

58. Expended ammunition is not a business expense.

59. Not allowed to pose the Netrunner in embarrassing positions when he's on a run.

60. Not allowed to short sheet the bedroll of impotent dieties.

61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him.

62. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once.

63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please.

64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"

65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.

66. Not allowed to start a character that speaks every language except ones the party speaks.

67. There is no Kung Fu manuever "McGuire Swings For Bleachers"

68. Bring him back intact includes redundant organs.

69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.

70. Not allowed to cook up nerve gas in the sink even if the target number is 5.

71. There is no 'annoy' setting on a phasor

72. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an elf or dwarf. Humans are right out.

73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.

74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"

75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps"

76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.

77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.

78. Not allowed to commission a pistol that costs more than a sedan.

79. I am not liquid metal.

80. When accepting a challenge for a duel, I must allow the other guy time to find a pistol.

81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.

82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste.

83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.

84. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow.

85. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying an industrial strength flamethrower.

86. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot.

87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana.

88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.

89. The elf's name is not Legolam.

90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay

91. A wet towel does not constitute an improvised weapon.

92. The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"

93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again.

94. I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on neither Gene Simmons nor Bluto Blutarski.

95. I must not put the Thunder God on the spot again.

96. No making up polearms.

97. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true'

98. There is no such thing as Speed Polka.

99. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber.

100. When any character from a d20 sourcebook is allowed, that doesn't include System Lords.

101. Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower.

102. When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him.

103. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.

104. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.

105. I am not allowed to rub any part of the elf chick for any reason.

106. When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option.

107. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.

108. I will not declare myself a god just so I can grant myself spells.

109. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals.

110. I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds.

111. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.

112. What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.

113. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.

114. I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice.

115. I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if they notice.

116. Not allowed to bribe the enemy commander into withdrawing with a stolen Elvis LP collection.

117. I was not recruited by Star League for any reason.

118. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.

119. I am neither the pagan god nor goddess of fertility.

120. I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof.

121. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"

122. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check.

123. I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep.

124. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check.

125. I am not directly descended from either Huey Lewis or any member of the News.


Life tastes like kittens. I like kittens!

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What's worse is that I was the paladin at the time. What made it funy was the reasoning behind my doing it.

Me (Paladin)"Hey guys, like my new +5 Full Plate Mail and Belt of Hill Gian Strength?"

Ranger: "How in Ilander's name did you pay for that?! Oh god don'T tell me you got the thief involved again..."

Thief: "I stole who in the what now?"

Me: "Relax guys, I learned my lesson the last time... "

Ranger: "So how did you pay for it. I know you didn't spend our money because after you wasted half our gold on those stupid marbles I took all the gold from you."

Me: "Hey, those marbles came in handy against the dragon."

Ranger: "That's not the point! Now tell me how you paid for that."

Me: "Well I kinda pimped out Nefaria to the shop owner."

Cleric (Neferia): "You what!"

Me: "Well you are a drow, and a slut so it's not like you're going to mind or anything."

Cleric: "Well that's true. But you owe me."

Me: "Fine, I'll do you later."

And even after all that I still didn'T lose my paladin status.


Life tastes like kittens. I like kittens!

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X'D In our group my thief had been somewhat mistreated by a healer, so I essentially used the other PC to uh..."distract" her while I robbed her blind.

Unfortunately, the group broke up due to schedule conflicts. :\


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I'm glad our first D&D group broke up. Our DM was a psycopath. He nearly stabbed one of the players because he wouldn't stop singing elmo's world.


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X'D In our group my thief had been somewhat mistreated by a healer, so I essentially used the other PC to uh..."distract" her while I robbed her blind.

Unfortunately, the group broke up due to schedule conflicts. :\

Well, my friend used our cleric who wasn't there as a shield to deflect arrows. Naturally the cleric died, and he came back as a ghost (our DM had a nasty sense of humor), and we used his body as a trap detector for half the map. That and at one point, I think we used him to block a door. And so for half the map, we were hounded by the ghost of Akira13, the level 3 cleric.


aomsehri \|/

This post is definitely my greatest contribution to the site.

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Our group for some reason is cursed with killing off our NPC's. We've been black listed by the adventure's guild and our DM will not give us any more NPC's. Heh, the only other person that has gone through as many characters as the DM was an ex-member that decided to start stealing books and figures from the DM.


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60. Not allowed to short sheet the bedroll of impotent dieties.

Impotent or omnipotent? BIG difference there... (iewwwwww.... nasty)

And I think this would be even funnier and make a WHOLE lot more sense if I understood any of it.


Just so you know "Anyone who tries to thwart love will hear the stomping of HOOves and cries of revenge."

I was going to say something... I swear....

What type of flowers are between your nose and your chin?

Two Lips!!

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What's worse is that I was the paladin at the time. What made it funy was the reasoning behind my doing it.

Me (Paladin)"Hey guys, like my new +5 Full Plate Mail and Belt of Hill Gian Strength?"

Ranger: "How in Ilander's name did you pay for that?! Oh god don'T tell me you got the thief involved again..."

Thief: "I stole who in the what now?"

Me: "Relax guys, I learned my lesson the last time... "

Ranger: "So how did you pay for it. I know you didn't spend our money because after you wasted half our gold on those stupid marbles I took all the gold from you."

Me: "Hey, those marbles came in handy against the dragon."

Ranger: "That's not the point! Now tell me how you paid for that."

Me: "Well I kinda pimped out Nefaria to the shop owner."

Cleric (Neferia): "You what!"

Me: "Well you are a drow, and a slut so it's not like you're going to mind or anything."

Cleric: "Well that's true. But you owe me."

Me: "Fine, I'll do you later."

And even after all that I still didn'T lose my paladin status.

X'D how you didn't lose your Paladin status after all that baffles my mind but it's still hilarious. Must have one really understanding DM. Then again I shouldn't say much, couple friends and I have done things that would strip a paladin of his status for life (with no chance of being redeemed, long story short it involved a couple NPC's, myself (the paladin), a barbarian, and a really f'ed up DM).


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I think the reason I don't lose it is because the DM is thinking "I want to see him add to that list"

speaking of which:

126. Kharn the Betrayer is not a sutable character for a Paladin.

127. May not base characters off anything found in my chaos space marine codex.


Life tastes like kittens. I like kittens!

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X'D. Next time I play Guild Wars I should do some of this stuff! I should speak some of my known russian (I'm learning it).


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Just becuase Tactica Demonica isn't the caos codex.... after next meeting I can add this next one to the list:

128. May not have a Paladin devoted to Slaanesh.


Life tastes like kittens. I like kittens!

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X'D In our group my thief had been somewhat mistreated by a healer, so I essentially used the other PC to uh..."distract" her while I robbed her blind.

Unfortunately, the group broke up due to schedule conflicts. :\

"used", yeah right, that was ALL my hella attractiveness and libido, hell yeah :D


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What's worse is that I was the paladin at the time. What made it funy was the reasoning behind my doing it.

Me (Paladin)"Hey guys, like my new +5 Full Plate Mail and Belt of Hill Gian Strength?"

Ranger: "How in Ilander's name did you pay for that?! Oh god don'T tell me you got the thief involved again..."

Thief: "I stole who in the what now?"

Me: "Relax guys, I learned my lesson the last time... "

Ranger: "So how did you pay for it. I know you didn't spend our money because after you wasted half our gold on those stupid marbles I took all the gold from you."

Me: "Hey, those marbles came in handy against the dragon."

Ranger: "That's not the point! Now tell me how you paid for that."

Me: "Well I kinda pimped out Nefaria to the shop owner."

Cleric (Neferia): "You what!"

Me: "Well you are a drow, and a slut so it's not like you're going to mind or anything."

Cleric: "Well that's true. But you owe me."

Me: "Fine, I'll do you later."

And even after all that I still didn'T lose my paladin status.

*note to self not all paladins are goody goodys that need to be brutaly murdered.....*

How did you not lose you paladin status.....


LOL

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Because the code states that doing anything that wouldn't be considered lawful good automatically strips you of your paladin status.

But theres always exceptions (like your DM and the f'ed up one I had for the little stunt my party pulled (will not go into it)).


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>< Bloodbath and beyond!?!?!

F-in A alright!!


everyday I wake to a better dream and every night I don't want to sleep for I don't want to leave that day dream

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